The Kaleidoscope Claims Another

A recent poll by MasterCard found that Bangkok was the most visited city in the world in 2015. I wasn’t surprised to learn this because almost everyone I met in Thailand, including myself, was there either on enthusiastic recommendation from a friend, or they were that friend and they were visiting the country again.  I have no doubt that all of us were there to experience the unique culture and color that only Thailand, and the rest of Asia, can offer. As One Republic sings in their song “Life in Color,” the lyrical inspiration for this post, “the sun bursts, the cloud breaks” and surrounding you is “life in motion;” something so captivating that one becomes almost obsessed with forever experiencing this kaleidoscope of wonders.

Day Seven

It is important to highlight that I did not experience this captivation until actually landing in Asia – Singapore to be specific – because I would use approximately none of the words above to describe the experience onboard Scoot airlines. Being on a student budget, all of my Asia air travel was done on low-cost carriers. To clarify: that is, Asian low cost carriers. Certainly I don’t mean to imply anything racist by this distinction; I just want to be clear that I wasn’t flying with the luxuries that even Southwest offers, like complimentary water, or oxygen masks that don’t require coins to operate. Of course, the airline got me safely from Australia to Singapore so I can’t complain about too much, but a 7 1/2 hour flight with just me, my thoughts, and an incomprehensible book about highly improbable events (like one of these flight attendants actually smiling) is not something I would care to do too often.

After landing, and checking-in to my hostel, I decided to make the most of my return to the Northern Hemisphere (complete with extended daylight) by heading to Marina Bay to get my first glimpse of the city. I noticed several things along the way that gave me a good indication of the ups and downs I would experience for the next several days. For example: Singapore has an excellent train network, but all of the trains are driver-less (not the most comforting thing for someone reading a book about highly improbable events). Also, the weather is always sunny, but it’s so humid that after only two steps I looked like I just finished the New York Marathon…twice. However, I must say I completely forgot about the sixth Great Lake forming in my shoes when I got my first look at the city. I had seen shots of the city on an episode of “The Amazing Race” – which I consider to be an exotic show – many years ago, so to have those very views in front of me now was magnificent, and almost unbelievable (though given the sweat-state of my skin, pinching myself was out of the question). This sense of awe continued for the rest of the evening as I explored some of Singapore’s most famous landmarks.

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A Merlion, an ark, and what may be the remains of the burning bush; practically a book out of the Bible

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I was amazed those plants were still alive considering I was already dying

 

Day Eight

Though I was somewhat reluctant to leave the air conditioning of my bedroom this morning, I (eventually) set out determined to see as much of the city as possible. I wish I could say I did so efficiently, but my tracks in the city could best be described as a pentagon hit by an earthquake. I started in Little India, a decision entirely motivated by food. Unfortunately my appetite for warm, spicy foods was effectively neutralized by the near 100 degree weather, but I nonetheless enjoyed exploring the ethnic neighborhood, which included an intricate Hindu temple. My next destination was the Marina Bay Sands, a Las Vegas-like casino/hotel that could also serve as an ark should those sea levels get a little too high. Ignoring the fact that heat rises, I took an elevator 55 stories up to the observation deck of the hotel to enjoy panoramic views of the city. I continued taking in tall views afterwards by walking the skyway at Gardens By The Bay, a vast and impressive collection of gardens that adjoins the Marina Bay Sands. At this point in the day I was sure my body’s water composition was down to about two percent so I stopped in a cafe downtown to rejuvenate.

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I was thinking there’d be more Tuk Tuks

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The Hindu Temple

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Pure Singapore

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Those freighters give new meaning to the phrase “industrial park”

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The Supertrees for which they charged a Superfee

From the cafe I made my way to Chinatown to visit the vendors on “Food Street” and the merchants in the famous “Chinatown Street Market.” Had it not been for the size of my bag I could have gone on quite the spree at the latter. After getting a couple of souvenirs I decided to remove myself from the dangerously affordable situation by journeying to a “hipster” part of town: Haji Lane. Walking down this road, surrounded by chic and modern shops and cafes, I felt like I was in Uptown, Minneapolis – an interesting feeling given that “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was blasting from the speakers of one venue. From here I returned to Marina Bay to admire the sunset and take in an outdoor night show. The show was called “Garden Rhapsody: A Night at the Musical Theater:” a spectacle of lights and American show tunes featuring the artificial Supertrees (LED-lined structures) at Gardens By The Bay. I had actually seen the show the night before, but returned because I thought it was such an enjoyable way to end the day.

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Wonder if they call it Chi-Town

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Picture of a beautiful temple featuring my beautiful thumb

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Haji Lane? Minneapolis? Washington D.C.?

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Seems like when I made those same drawings I only got a B-

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Even more amazing is knowing that the temperature dropped now

 

Day Nine

With my “city day” behind me, my original intention for today was to spend the entirety of it biking around Puala Ubin, an island nature reserve off the coast of the city that was famous for…well, biking. Getting to the island was an adventure in and of itself. The bus ride was complicated by a language barrier between me and the driver (he was speaking Mandarin, I was speaking Google Translate), and though there was no communication barrier onboard the boat, there did seem to be a barrier between it and modern safety regulations. Nonetheless I arrived safely at the island, where I was promptly suckered into renting a bike with no breaks, before I set off for a day of exploring. My energetic attitude lasted all of about 20 minutes before the humidity tortured and killed it. To my credit, during those 20 minutes I completed the “Sensory Trail,” which could just as well be called the “What Do You Sense Will Kill You Next Trail,” and I survived an off-road experience that had even this Jew praying that Jesus would take the wheel. Needing to relax from all of this, I decided to visit the café on the island. By café I mean a tent that sold water and Oreos and offered seating in broken plastic chairs, but in that moment I saw it more as a rustic, small-plates establishment that offered outdoor seating with scenic views.

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The safest place for these boats: not moving

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My not so trusty steed for the morning

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Now just imagine the sounds of something moving in the bush and something else flying overhead

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I think the dock is so once people are scared by the sensory trail, they can get a running start into the water

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Main Street (as in, the only street)

By this point I had given up on the plan to stay at the island all day. Frankly, I don’t know why I thought continuous physical activity in a climate similar to Guantanamo Bay would ever be enjoyable. I decided to bike one final loop before heading back to the city. While I was on this loop, moving at breakneck speeds away from a bug the size of my hand, I caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see a colony of monkeys. I spent the next 30 minutes photographing them, and though they were camera-shy, I loved every second of it. The photo shoot ended when a nearby wild boar caused the monkeys to retreat to high ground, and myself to retreat to the city. The area where the boats dock is right under an approach path into Changi Airport so I spent some time just watching wide-bodies land before I set off to wander around the city for the rest of the afternoon and evening. I finished the day with one final viewing of “Garden Rhapsody”.

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iSpy 3 Monkeys

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Only one who got close to me: either an adventurer or a diva

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Even more amazing is the temperature drop that accompanied this

 

Day Ten

My flight to Thailand wasn’t until the afternoon so I spent the morning at the Chinatown markets picking up some final souvenirs before making my way to the airport. I budgeted some extra time to Changi Airport because, given that it is consistently ranked the number one airport in the world, I considered it to be tourist destination itself. Indeed, the facilities were modern and clean, there was no shortage of duty-free and high end shops, and the indoor rainforest and waterfall currently being built is an ambitious and impressive plan, but what pleased me the most was my Burger King meal (a welcome break from Asian food) that included a view overlooking the tarmac; so by my qualifications the Juda International Airport in South Sudan (consistently rated the worst airport in the world) could have been the number one airport in the world at that moment.

The flight itself was uneventful: I was a little concerned that the safety instructions included the phrase “when we hit the water” instead of “if we hit the water,” but I am happy to report that I was not at any time forced to find out just how buoyant my seat cushion was. When I landed in Bangkok I was greeted by an unusual sight: an advertisement at an airport for a different airport. In front of me was a giant picture of the “Pride of Thailand” while surrounding me was a building that likely won the same ‘horse’s rear end’ trophy that my mom, sister, and I once took home from a bowling tournament. The latter best represented things to come: I almost declared myself a Chinese citizen in the customs line, my Uber driver took approximately 52 wrong turns (I may not understand Thai, but I did understand constant head shaking followed by “sorry”), and upon arriving at my hostel I was informed that I had booked a hostel with air conditioning, and I had booked a room, but I had somehow not booked the “air conditioned room.” Never in my life had I craved a beer so much, so I took a seat at the first restaurant I found. The meal I had there was cheap and enjoyable and was made all the more satisfying by the fact that surrounding me was Bangkok, Thailand, yet another distant land that so far had only existed in my dreams. I finished the night by shopping at local markets, where I picked up a pair of cliché, yet fashionable, elephant pants.

Day Eleven

I was up early today for a morning tour of some of Bangkok’s most famous temples. The tour included stops at the Golden Buddha, the Reclining Buddha, and the Marble Buddha (you Buddha believe it). I spent most of the morning simply in awe at these intricate and magnificent structures. Their construction would be impressive at any point in history, but to consider that they were built hundreds of years ago is almost unbelievable – I certainly won’t be bragging about my bathroom tiling feats in this country. Anytime that I didn’t spend in awe, I spent in fear: fear that I would somehow do something to upset some ancient order and thereby incur the wrath of Buddha himself. Luckily the only person I upset was the salesperson at the gem factory we toured after the temples. After this, the tour company dropped me off at MBK Shopping Center, a behemoth building whose buffet-style food court offered yet another cheap and delicious meal.

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Temple of the Emerald Buddha

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Temple of the Reclining Buddha

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This was only about half his body

Continuing the morning’s theme of exquisite architecture, my next stop was the Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha. I decided to get there by means of a boat tour up the Chao Phraya River, a Bangkok must-do according to some of my friends. Riding on the river is like stepping back in time: the water is dirtied and polluted, the boat engines continuously cough up black smoke, and many of structures along the river are primitive. However, I must admit there is a certain beauty to it all: I have no doubt that one day the river will be pure blue and lined with skyscrapers, but for now it remains a stronghold of tradition against pressure from globalization and gentrification. When I arrived at the Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha, I was struck by their magnificent and commanding presence (which was aided by the guards armed with AK-47s). Just as I had done in the morning, I tried to soak in every element, and capture every detail. When I was finished here I took a boat ride back down the river, and then took a Tuk Tuk back to my hostel: a riveting experience to say the least. That night, inspired by my palace visit, I had a spring roll and curry feast fit for a king and I topped it off with a mouth-watering dessert from a street vendor (one that was not selling cooked bugs).

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Riverfront property

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The Grand Palace

 

Day Twelve

Going to sleep the night before felt like going to sleep on Christmas Eve because today was perhaps the most anticipated activity of my entire trip: a day at an elephant sanctuary. The sanctuary was in Kanchanaburi, about 2 1/2 hours west of Bangkok, so I was out the door at 6:30 AM. Given my driver’s liberal use of both the accelerator and the brake, the journey was a fast-paced thrill ride through the Thai countryside. Not surprisingly, this made me the first visitor of the day to arrive, but I didn’t mind at all because of six magical words: “you can wait with the elephants.” I had brought bananas with me so I originally imagined spending the next 20 minutes meticulously peeling each one, and then gently feeding it to the elephants as we formed a lifelong bond. This dream was interrupted by the feeling of a slimy and coarse trunk snatching the first banana out of my hand. It took the elephant approximately 30 seconds to finish all eight of my bananas, and once it was satisfied that my phone was not a ninth banana it went back to eating grass – so much for that friendship.

As soon as the other five visitors arrived we officially started the day. An interesting note: there are over 400 elephant sanctuaries in Thailand and their success is a testament to humanity because all of them require visitors to not only pay a fee, but also to help care for the elephants. Most of the tasks we completed were food related: preparing snacks, feeding snacks, and eating snacks (this was the most important). Each task also provided insight into life as an elephant. We learned how social, playful, and gentle the creatures are, but most importantly we learned how picky they can be. For example, during the afternoon snack (a modest 20 watermelons), my elephant refused to eat any watermelon that wasn’t first peeled and then cut into pieces, and when I tried to sneak in a banana she threw it back at me (not surprisingly, her nickname was “princess”). The day ended with a bath in the river for all of the elephants, visitors, and workers, and except for a moment of panic when I realized I was surrounded by three elephant butts (nobody move!), it was an absolute blast. After a death-defying ride back to Bangkok, I went to the famous Khao San Road to enjoy one final delectable meal in Thailand.

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I asked her to strike a pose

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Not a bad view for lunch

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Things I thought I would never touch: an elephant’s tongue

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Thought we were bonding until the one behind me almost ran me over

 

Day Thirteen

Compared to the past week my morning was low-key today: after sleeping in, I enjoyed a quick breakfast before setting off for the airport, making sure to clarify to my Uber driver that I was not going the “Pride of Thailand.” Though I didn’t understand her response to this, I’m sure it translated to “ah yes, the sh*thole.” Admitedly, my departure experience outshined my arrival experience so I’m willing to nominate the airport for the title of “Mediocrity of Thailand.” My flight to Kuala Lumpur was uneventful until the last 10 minutes when we were informed that the cabin had to be sprayed for hygienic reasons. Interestingly almost all of the flight attendants disappeared at this point (likely to put on Hazmat suits) while the one attendant who drew the short straw walked down the aisle of the plane spraying what I can only imagine was a combination of Lysol, bleach, and mustard gas into the air. Luckily the customs line in Malaysia took almost an hour so my body had plenty of time to return its oxygen levels to normal.The airport sits about 35 miles outside of the city so it took a decent amount of time to get to my hostel. Once I was there I simply collapsed into bed. The exhaustion from all my travel had finally caught up with me and though I originally tried to explore the nearby Central Market for awhile, I realized that the best thing to do was to go to sleep.

Day Fourteen

After a good night’s rest, I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I enjoyed breakfast on the hostels’ balcony overlooking the city before beginning my journey to Kuala Selangor, my destination for the day. From what I read online, finding the bus to Kuala Selangor was easy: just look for the bus with “Selangor” painted in big letters on the side. As I later learned, “Selangor” is actually the name of the bus company, not just a convenient way for the visually impaired to tell where the bus is going, and the company operates over 30 buses, so you can imagine the ease at which I, a non-malay-speaking American, found the appropriate bus. Once onboard I settled in for a relaxing two hour ride; a mood that last all of about 10 minutes before I noticed that the exchanges of the company workers at the front of the bus curiously resembled money laundering. Given that there was also a twitchy man sitting across from me who was sweating profusely and tightly clutching his bag, I felt like I was in the movie Mickey Blue Eyes. However, not wanting to get “whacked,” I decided it was best to look out the window and fuhgeddaboudit.

Upon arriving in Kuala Selangor there were many local food venues available for lunch, so naturally I decided to eat at the Pizza Hut. By now the energy from my long sleep the night before had all but faded, so my next move was to check into my hotel – which offered the first private bed and bathroom of my trip – and take a nap. Kuala Selangor is famous for two things: fishing villages and fireflies, so once I woke up I set off to find both. As my mom often says “god gave me two good legs” and since he didn’t give me cell service or a taxi that evening I made my way to a nearby village by foot. Though the 30 minute walk was relatively uneventful for me, I have no doubt the headline in the local papers the next day was “White Boy Sightings Reported,” as it seemed every child stared in wonder when I walked by (still feel bad about the one who got hit in the head by a soccer ball because of it).  I sat down at a restaurant on the water with the intention of eating fresh fish, but after seeing the authenticity of the meal on the menu (fish head and all) I settled on chicken. Once I had finished dinner I departed for a firefly boat tour from a nearby dock. The forests in this part of Malaysia are said to have some of the highest concentrations of fireflies on earth, and one of the best places to view them is from the river. From a distance it looked like someone had put twinkling lights on all the trees. Up close, the phenomenon was even more incredible and I was reminded of the lyrics by Owl City: “you would not believe your eyes if 10 million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep.” After the tour was finished I made the trek back to my hotel, enjoying an ice cream treat along the way.

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If I had waited long enough I probably could have seen someone’s dinner jump out of the water

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A Selangor Sunset: this picture, as well as great name for a drink

 

Day Fifteen

This morning’s agenda had only one thing on it: Monkey Mountain. This mountain, which was actually more of a hill, is an old dutch fort famous for it’s primate residents, as well as it’s views of the Strait of Malacca. God had yet to provide that taxi so I again made the journey by foot. In total it took about 20 minutes to reach the base of the hill, and about 10 minutes to walk up it. Though this isn’t a particularly long time, with the heat, humidity and lack of monkeys, I was feeling discouraged, cheated, and worried about the 5K that seemed to be starting behind me (*frantically checks shirt to make sure it doesn’t resemble a runner’s bib*). All my worries disappeared, however, when I reached the top and found about 20 of Curious George’s cousins. These monkey’s likely had no survival skills whatsoever given that every person there was feeding them fruits and vegetables, but I’m certainly not one to encourage famine so I bought a stalk of beans from the available vendor (who can I only assume was named Local Entrepreneur of the Year) and approached the nearest monkey. Wanting to prolong my time I tried feeding the monkey just one bean at a time, however I was quickly reminded of our evolutionary proximity to these creatures (including their opposable thumbs), when he ignored the individual bean and instead snatched the rest of the stalk out of my other hand. I’m somewhat embarrassed to say I tried the process again, but with the same results. After getting a few pictures and taking in the view, I decided I had had enough swindling for the day, so I made my way back to my hotel where I cleaned up before catching a bus back to Kuala Lumpur.

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Contrary to the picture the one on the right is the thief

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For well fed monkeys they sure do look sad

 

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The Straight of Malacca in the distance: for some reason I thought it would have a sign or something

Luckily the bus ride back was free of any similarities to crime movies, though with the age of the bus and the variety of the passengers Little Miss Sunshine did come to mind. Upon arrival, I took a taxi (which I had never been so happy to see) to the landmark that drew me to Malaysia: The Petronas Towers. I had long admired these towers, which were the tallest in the world from 1998 to 2004, online so I was ecstatic to see them in person. At the base of the these 1500 ft structures is a shopping center, which I happily browsed to enjoy the air conditioning. From the towers I made my way to Central Market, where, after checking into my hostel, I made my final purchases of the trip. Given the affordable prices, abundance of vendors, presence of food, and my slight tendency to over-shop, I thought this process would take hours; however, after only 45 minutes, I had satisfied both my material and nourishment needs. Ignoring efficiency, I decided to go back to the Petronas Towers, where I enjoyed gelato in the adjacent Symphony Park. The park’s night show, which was a fantastic coordination of fountains, lights, and the recorded sounds of the Malaysian Philharmonic, was the final activity of my trip.

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Guess sculptures of violins and cellos wouldn’t have been as amusing to kids

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A fitting colorful end to the trip

Day Sixteen

Most of today was dedicated to the 9 hour plane ride from Kuala Lumpur to Sydney. Given that this leg also lacked in-flight entertainment, I had ample time to reflect on the incredible trip I had just completed. Though it is hard to put all of my feelings into words, I can say that every day I was reminded of how amazing the world is, and how much we can learn from the other people in it. I am forever grateful for the experiences and opportunities I continue to have that allow me to live “Life in Color.”